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Living through Current Events, Living in the News

The news is generally not a source of feel-good information, but lately I have seen both in myself and others that the content and proliferation has a way of really affecting us. Whether or not the world has become scarier or we just know more about it is a different discussion. But the way our…

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“It’s like hitting a wall”: Vaginismus and the Unconsummated Relationship

Vaginismus is one of those conditions that sounds so obscure and ‘out there’, yet the odds are that you or someone you know has been affected by it. Vaginismus is what happens when there are involuntary muscular contractions in the vaginal wall, making penetration very difficult or even impossible. In addition to difficulty with penetration…

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Living from the Neck Up

Intelligence is a true gift. The ability to view a situation rationally and with clarity is a key part of maturing and dealing with issues in life. But in therapy, I often find myself working with people dealing with issues where what they know doesn’t seem to heal what they feel. And so they feel torn, conflicted,…

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5 Marriage Truths from FX’s “The Americans”

(This article was originally published on Yourtango.com) Last week, I said goodbye to Phillip and Elizabeth Jennings as “The Americans” wrapped up its amazing six-year run on FX. I’m really going to miss the plot twists, disguises, awesome 80’s wardrobe, retro answering machines, and tape recorders. But more than that, I am going to miss…

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Living Life at Full Speed

Trauma often comes up in my work, but it’s not necessarily the reason why the person decides to come to therapy. Maybe there was something else going on that seemed unrelated. A relationship or sexual issue. A job challenge. A religious or spiritual crisis. Body image struggles. A loss. Confusion about life. But I’ve come…

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Phone Boundaries

So last night I did that thing you’re not supposed to do. I read the news on my phone right before I went to sleep. I didn’t have a hard time falling asleep, but I woke up feeling anxious. And anxiety doesn’t just exist in thought; I felt it in my entire body- my chest,…

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Dealing with the Splash of Relatives

Holidays can be an enjoyable time but stressful too. In therapy, holiday time– both before and after– often brings up discussions related to family dynamics. Sometimes, a client will share about a parent who is highly-regarded in the community for their generosity, wisdom etc, and the children are often told how they have such an…

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Can You Feel The Love Tonight…….And be okay with it?

Today’s post was inspired by a Disney playlist this morning, compliments of Amazon Alexa. “The Lion King” has a great soundtrack and I have probably heard it hundreds of times. But this morning, some of the lyrics jumped out at me in a new way (I know, such a therapist thing to say). When Simba…

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The Elephant in Your Bedroom

Addressing sexual concerns can be awkward. After all, it can be uncomfortable talking about sex. The thing is, relationships with sexual issues suffer. And as the years go on, the sexual issues give birth to other relationship problems that become their own entities. So many things can get in the way of building and sustaining…

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Broke Up and Feeling Broken

Relationship breakup is an issue that often comes up in my work. Breakups—whether it be a brief courtship, a long dating relationship, a committed marriage—can bring on a mix of emotions that may fluctuate. But somewhere, somehow, many of us have internalized this notion that life events should be experienced one emotion at a time,…

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Marriage: It’s Like Riding a Bike

Among the many myths that come along with marriage is the notion that once the search is over, the work over. That once you finally find that person, you can take a breath of relief, because the hard part is behind you. Some people experience some ‘beginner’s luck’ in the beginning of a relationship: You…

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Permission to Feel Pain

“It could be worse.” “At least it’s not ______.” “I should just look for the bright side, right?” It may sound strange, but there are many people who don’t feel like they are allowed to be in emotional pain. Something difficult may be happening to them but they don’t feel like they have a legitimate…

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Kneading out the Not’s

Recently, I was walking down Broadway and passed a local beauty salon and I decided to get a back massage. My back had been bothering me, I had a break between clients, and I try to squeeze in self-care when I can. There were moments during the massage where it was just painful. Kneading out…

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Good Things Come to Those Who Notice Them

I really like online shopping. It’s quick, it’s efficient, and I can do it at 1am in my pajamas. The thing is, I’ve noticed that I find myself easily rationalizing why I need something when a minute ago, I was totally fine without it. Suddenly, something seems necessary, retroactively making what I currently have inadequate.…

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Replaying Relationship Fumbles

I wouldn’t exactly call myself a football “fan” but I appreciate watching a good game and I do loosely follow what’s going on in the NFL. I find that ideas in football, like many other sports, can offer lessons on life and love; perhaps that’s part of what makes sports movies meaningful. NFL games today…

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The Harvey Weinstein Saga and Courageous Clarity

As I write this, the media is saturated with articles about Harvey Weinstein and his problematic behavior that was widely known for decades in Hollywood. Many are questioning how people could know this about Mr. Weinstein yet proceed with business as usual. One of the best answers I’ve read is by Scott Rosenberg (seen here:…

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“I Carried a Watermelon” Moments

One of my favorite movies is “Dirty Dancing” and as one of those people who can glean a life lesson from even the most random places, I turn to one of my favorite scenes from the movie. In this earth-shattering scene towards the beginning of the movie, Baby Houseman spots Jonny Castle dancing at a…

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9/11, Trauma, and Overrated Closure

As I sit here on September 12th, my mind is still marinading in the surge of 9/11 thoughts and feelings I’ve been experiencing. 9/11 was a traumatic event for the American people. But not all Americans were traumatized; not all 9/11 survivors were traumatized. There were people who walked away from that day and were…

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The Real Deal on Therapy

Perspectives on therapy- and what it says about you as a person– have such a range. There are those who talk about going to therapy the way they’ll talk about going to the gym, to those who nervously look over their shoulder as they enter the office suit, and everything in between. And then there…

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Inside and Out

My clients often share similar feelings about the frustrations they feel in their respective challenges.  A common sentiment is, “Overall, my life is going well and an outsider may think I have it all together, but they really have no clue what I struggle with and that I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.”…

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